Parenting with Purpose (LHM) Series: Part 8

FOCUS SIX: A FAITH FOUNDATION

“You must live with people to know their problems; and live with God in order to solve them.” 1

“Thou hast made us for Thyself, O God, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.” St. Augustine

“As one of the Karamazov brothers says in Dostoevsky’s novel, ‘If there is no God, everything is permitted.’ But even worse, human beings without God are so terribly alone in a big, cold, purposeless, unhallowed world.” 2

Does Religion Harm or Help?

More and more forms of media are talking about religion and its effect on people. From magazines to TV to the Internet, you can find discussions on the power of prayer, whether the Ten Commandments should be posted, or if the Pledge of Allegiance should include the phrase “one nation under God.” Many would have us believe that religion, far from being helpful, actually damages people rather than helps them. Yet, research does not confirm that premise. In fact, research supports that the very opposite is true.

Consider Just a Few Striking Examples:

• “Religiousness markedly reduces the incidence of heart attack, arteriosclerosis, high blood pressure, and hypertension.” 3
• People who attend church live longer! 4
• Religious people are less likely to abuse alcohol and far less likely to use illicit drugs. Conversely, one study found that 89 percent of alcoholics had lost interest in religion during their teenage years. 5
• “Marital satisfaction and overall well-being tend to increase with church attendance.” 6
• Divorce is twice as unlikely for those who attend church regularly. 7
• Sixty-five percent of the corporate chiefs of the nation’s largest 100 corporations said that they and their families attend church or synagogue regularly. Many of them state that religion is an important part of the reason for their stable marriages and families. The percentage far exceeds that of the overall U.S. population where the average attendance is approximately 40 percent. 8
• “Though children learn more about right and wrong as they grow older, they become increasingly deceptive. … Children who were enrolled in Sunday school howed significantly better conduct in the areas of honesty, cooperation, persistence, and inhibition of undesirable behavior.” 9
• “As the research clearly shows, what is ‘good’ in the moral sense, in the city of God, is also good in the pragmatic sense, in the city of man.” 10

One common denominator seems to be that families who know Jesus Christ as their Savior, Friend, and the answer to life’s questions, are prepared for the challenges of everyday life. They face what comes with a sense of hope that goes beyond themselves, realizing that they can cling to Christ as a source of strength, comfort and peace … no matter what happens … and relying on the promise that an eternity of happiness in His presence waits for them beyond the trials of this life. A faith foundation offers forgiveness, love, hope and peace. Isn’t that what you want for your family?

And Thus Our Prayer Becomes …

“Day by day. Day by day.
Oh, dear Lord, Three things I pray –
To see Thee more clearly, Love Thee more dearly, Follow Thee more nearly, Day by day.”

Richard of Chichester, 1197-1253

Ways to Help Our Children See, Feel and Taste God’s Love

• Ask, “What values do I want my children to have when they become adults?” Then ask, “Do I myself have such values now?”
• Don’t limit your spirituality to just going to church on Sunday or dropping the kids off for Sunday school. Instead, make it part of the total home environment. Too many people reserve God-talk for church, but leave Him out of day-to-day living.
• Show your children that you, too, need God’s forgiveness and grace. Admit mistakes when you make them. Confess them to God and to your family. Together, bask in His forgiveness.
• Pray for your child and with your child. Talk to God as you would a loving parent. Tell God your cares and concerns. Pray with your child about his or her future. Pray that the child might make a difference in the world.
• Read Bible stories and stories with a Christian message to your child. Read them with excitement and believability. Enjoy family devotional time together.

“We’ll let him decide later for himself what church he wants to attend.”

One of the issues many parents wrestle with is whether or not their children should be “forced” to go to church. “My child can decide later for himself what he wants to do about religion.” Those who say that often also add, “After all, I was forced to go to church when I was a child, and I grew up hating church. I don’t want to do the same thing to my children.”

But let’s think about that for a minute. What if you applied that same reasoning to other areas of your child’s life. “I hated school when I was a child, so I’m going to let my child decide for himself whether or not he wants to go to school.” “My folks made me go to the dentist when I was a child, and so I’m not going to make my child go unless he wants to.”

Though, ultimately, a child will grow up and decide whether or not he or she continues to attend church or go to the dentist, there are some important things to keep in mind that have a huge influence on the decision he or she will make later as an adult.

A child will respond to what she sees being done much more readily than what she merely hears being said. “I want to be just like you, Daddy” is more than some endearing statement; it’s also true. Statistics show that when mom and dad are both actively involved in the church, there is a much greater chance that their children will also, as adults, be involved
in the church.

With the philosophy of “we’ll let him decide later” not only does the child lose but the parents lose as well. All parents, consciously or unconsciously, instill in their children values and beliefs about right and wrong. Parents who instill in their children Judaic-Christian values will receive reinforcement from the Christian church. It will help to answer your children’s “whys.” And it offers reasons for why you establish certain boundaries and why the family believes what it does.

The church also helps bring the past, present and future into focus for children. In Caring & Commitment, Smedes writes:
“A family is really a story, and a child’s memory is a limited edition of his family’s story. Every new generation writes a new chapter. But to write their own chapter, children have to know the chapters that went before theirs.” 11 The Scriptures teach us not only what worked in generations past, but also tell us what will work in the present. Directing our attention to the Savior who loves and cares for us and has promised never to leave us, God’s Word offers us strength for the present and hope for the future.

Life is like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle with pieces that vary in configuration. As we go through life, the pieces of that puzzle are slowly put together. But it’s much easier to put these pieces together when we can look at the cover of the puzzle box, revealing what the final picture will look like. We help our children see the final picture when we share with them the promises of God’s Holy Word. As we tell our children about Jesus and His love, we introduce them to the most important Person they will ever meet—the One who lived, died and rose again to earn their eternal salvation.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

1. Dad, the Family Coach, Dave Simmons quoting P.T. Forsyth, Wheaton: Victor Books, 1991, p. 73.
2. Who Needs God, Harold Kushner, New York: Summit Books, 1989, pp. 207-208.
3. “Healthy and the God Factor,” Christianity Today, Philip Yancey, October 7, 1991, p. 88.
4. Ibid., p. 88.
5. Ibid., p. 88.
6. Ibid., p. 88.
7. Ibid., p. 88.
8. “Praying for Guidance,” Forbes, Barbara Kallen, December 1, 1986, pp. 220-221.
9. A study done by Hartshorr and May, as given in Family Foundations, Paul Meier and Richard Meier, Grand Rapids: Baker Book House Co., 1989, p. 88.
10. “Healthy and the God Factor,” Christianity Today, Philip Yancey, October 7, 1991, p. 88.

11. Caring&Commitment:LearningtoLivethemLoveWePromise,LewisB.Smedes,SanFrancisco:HarperandRow1989,p.92.